the positive side of life.

I want to thank you lord for the beauty that surrounds me,from a clinging vine to the time i spend with you. thank you for the blades of grass that came from endless storms, and thank you for the blooming bud that came from wind swept storms.thank you for the friends that comes from trying times, and thank you for the love from you that comes from leaving all else to become yours alone.I thank you lover most sweet, for the faith that comes from the streching and twisting of my pride and fears.
I thank you most for the times you have taken all else so that i could see only you.thank you for the boundless joy that comes from giving first,and thank you for the feeling of comfort that comes when i have nothing to fall back on of my own.thank you for the riches that come when i have naught else but to trust in your supply, and thank you for the miracles you do for me even when i am ungratful or lacking in faith.
thank you for my wife and son whom i appreciate more when i give them to you.thank you for someone to spend my life with knowing she is yours and first belongs to you.thank you for my sons smile whitch lights up even the darkess day, and gives me hope that the future will be ok.
let me love always dwell on the good things,though hard as it may seem, and praise you lord for everything even if it be through my tears.

The breakings that make us stronger.

thank you all for your prayers and notes marieanne is doing alot better. when we prayed to day the lord gave me this for us.(Jesus speaking)This is the day of miracles. This is the day where as you reach out in faith you will receive. I love you my son, and although many times I have had to break you and remake you, it is because of how much I love you. Count it joy my love when you fall and feel as if you are broken; because then I can remake you in my fashion. You are truly David, a man after my heart, but a man of faults and failings that I have broken again and again. Through each trial, failure and breaking I bring you closer to me. I know you try and cover up your brokenness with folly or a front for others because you are afraid to show your side that I have made. The side of a broken heart truly in love with me and passionate for me. You are afraid others will not understand or that it seems out of the ordinary for a man like you to be this way. You have made it this far because of your love for me, because of your desire to be mine and be my bride. I want you to get rid of your fronts now, don’t fear the opinons, scoffs, or words of others; but let go and truly be free in me. I am breaking you and MarieAnne right now, I am remaking you once more and calling you to put aside all else but your love and passion for me.

You know how you sit at night and all you feel is trials of the day or the fear of what will happen to marieane or even to your life for me? These feelings are from me because I am trying to make you fully lean on me. Right now you do lean on me but every now and again you run off in your own arm and this is where I am working, I want you fully mine, fully given over to me and fully and completely broken and remade in my form.
The greatest gift I have given you is a broken heart, and a love and understanding for others, a listening ear. But these are the gifts you hide away because you are afraid of the opinions of others and you don’t want to seem as if you are nothing, but this is your greatest gift from me, let your true self come forth, and embrace the gift I have given you. Enjoy the breakings and revel in our love .destroy the fronts and be the man I have made you. Thank me through your breakings, thank me through your tears don’t be ashamed of them; and fear not to let others see and know of your need and dependence on me.


Your passion and desire for me, this gift I give you of a broken heart and a soul tried in the fire and remade, are your strengths and the part of you that I want you to emphasize for from these you will gain the victory, and from these you will have become the gold pulled from the fire. I must burn out the impurities that you may become priceless. Fear not the breaking but rejoice, for the sweet smell of your tears, are to me as ecstasy for I know that as you allow these breakings it brings us closer together. The miracle is done! The healing is there for you and Marianne, one in the flesh and one in the spirit now reach out and receive them in faith and rejoice in your breakings and thank me for the sweet perfume of souls given to me fully by my most beautiful brides. I love you. thank you all for your prayers they are the greatest gift you can give. love mike

Greater faith.

This last week my dear wife Marieanne took a turn for the worse with her health,we spent a day in the hospital to stabilize her.I broke down that night, i had been on the road for a few days and it was a shock to me when i got home.
It put many things in perspective for me,the petty squables or irritations of others,financial battles etc all seemed to pale in comparison with the fear of loosing her.
over the last 3 years we have fough this battle with her health but only twice have i felt i was really going to lose her and this was one of them.when we got home that night i broke down crying i have come so close so many times to giving up and each time the lord gave me strength to keep going. marieanne is the greatest sample to me of one who will never give up the fight,she has fought a good fight truly.
i stopped to hear from the lord and this is what he gave me.(jesus speaking)My son, greater faith is the ability to see beyond your own limitations. when you try to work in the arm of the flesh or figure things out or deal with them on your own you are in a box of limitations and boundries.Only when you let go and let me work in you with any of you getting in the way; then I can give you greater faith, then I can expand your horizons and then I can do a miracle. You can not have greater faith in the flesh no matter how much you want it, no matter even how much you deserve it. My gift of greater faith for you is contingent on you being empty of yourself, broken and willing to be remade as a vessel of my use. The desperation you lack is a result of an acceptance of the boundaries, the limitations thinking that (well that’s all that can be done) ask yourself “do I really believe I can raise the dead”? Well of course you can’t, but me in you with the gift of greater faith can that’s what you must have to pull down my miracles for you. Right now ask me to break you and remake you in my boundaries, to give you the greater faith, and to make you into the vessel I see you to be. I love you my beautiful and most intimate bride. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement, they mean more to me and marieanne than you will ever know. love mike

click,click,pull.

One of the greatest things i love about the family and our homes, is the sense(most of the time.)that you are a family,equal and just as important and interesting across the board.Too often though in gatherings,fellowships or seminars the lines seem clearly dawn aroung certain clicks or "stratas"if you will,at one more recent one i went to i was amaized to find a caste system in place.
whith many of the more family elite"or those who have a better look, aloof from those of the more menial class.HAve we come to the point where we have social circles in the family?I for one hope not. each person i meet new, or reaquanted in the family not only is extreamly talented and amazing but beautiful and charming in there own way.I have to say that many things i thought about people or ideas of thier personalities where far from right and each time I see them I am amazed at a new side of them.
I wonder how if we each took time to reach out to someone outside of our social circle, how amazed we would be to find a friend,companion,or lover.asit is you could stand in the middle of a family gathering and the clicks are prevalent around you,even to the real hurt or exclusion of others.if we are the family of love,the reincarnation of the cathars should we not try and act like it?
If each day we made a effort to really endevor to befriend or get to know better someone outside our own"circle"or socially appropriate group or age range, we would make the familly of love alive more.I fall short in this i know not out of meaness or spite, but more from being too lazy to really think of others instead of my own comfort zone or what i want.please i askthat each time you decide to hang out with friends,throw a party or even just chill out or do something fun;think of the person who may be feeling left out and pull them in.
make that effort to draw a wider circle and include those who maybe you would not normally,help then feel loved and part of that "in crowd" whitch should include all of your brothers and sisters.
If jesus did not discriminate why should we? I for one want to follow in his footsteps of treating and loving all of us the same.try it today tomarrow is too late.

my thanks for love.

Today lord as i sat down to think of the love you gave,one most pure and untouched like frost on wintery day.I thank you for the touch of one so kind and fair.
like gentle midnight breeze upon a maiden fair;her kiss like gentle word sublime, still sweet and holding tightly as a vine.
i treasure still more this effect because you gave it so,in time of need when in truth my heart was sinking low.Though thruly everlasting is your love, i longed for sweet embrace,of one in mortal form of your beauty and your love upon her face.
In truth dear lord I wavered in the faith,that you who loved me more than any other would so swiftly answer my heartache.
so now i sit in thanful joy at the love you have made,and shared with me another who's beauty needs no aid.her smille is a rainbow and promise to this man that forever and eternity, you wish us all be glad.
I thank you for this treasure of a love so kind and fair, she was first and alway your bride who's love you choose to share.
so take here now my thankfulness and joy that in your love i share;and let me shout and praise you that all may know your care.for from this love i see,how you truly care for me. DMG

The Grace to fight on.

I know many of you out there have gone through those times where you feel that one more thing will be your last , that it is too much. I have felt this for this last month, the lord is breaking and remaking me once more, most nights i struggle to hold back from the tears that seem to be ready to spill over.I wish that i had someone to tell, on the outside many times i seem together , but inside i am screaming for my lord to pull me through.have you ever felt that you had no one to talk to eather because they would not understand or are too superficial to care and are mostly wrapped up in thier own dificulties?
I know the lord has pulled out all the stops with me,taken away all the safety nets so there is nothing left. he wants to be the only thing in my life.my dear and lovely wife is leaving to live in canada for some time mostly for health reasons. she truely has fought a good fight and has been a encouragement to me , even in her illness.
many nights i truly feel alone and at a loss, and it hurts that most others around me cannot see it or don't care. but then the other day when i was working on some of my HSTP, i could not take it anymore and asked my love why. and what he said made all clear away. he said" my love it is not the trial whitch is to be feared or dreaded but rather the lack of one, i test you so that i may use you.when it seems too much it is so you will learn to lean all on me. when it seems you have no one that cares it is so you may learn the importance and vitality of me and my love. when it seem as if you will fall and break into many peices, then you learn the value of letting me remake you.let my love be your catylist and my bed be your only desire.
i take away everything from you so that i may have you fully and teach you the extasy of me." So now even though the pain still lingers, and the tears are still there, i see my lover at the end saying" hang on just a little longer my good and faithful servant;so I may enter you into the joy that passes all understanding, and the peace, love and comfort that comes only to those who are willing to let me break them and give up all so that they can be closer to me and do anything for me."
so hang on, If i can I know the lord can get you through too and give you the victory.

pray for my day.

Oh lord may this day bring me closer to you, may the words I say be those that uplift and glorify you. let my hands be to touch others in love, and guard me against the words I say in haste. let my mouth speak forth my passionate disire for you , and may my actions betray my desperation for your love.let my lips speak faith, and let my actions follow;help me care for others as I would want. let me rest today in your strength, and let my wisdom be only what comes from you. If i fall help me rise again,if I fail ,help me grow and change.If I am lonely, let me seek another to bring your joy. let me think of others before myself.Help me to disire you above all else.I short make me a vessel fit for you, and if i am not break me so the I can be remade anew in your likeness so that I may fullfill the plan you have for me, and revel in your love and spiritual extasy.

the art of appreciation.

We live in a society where our lives are based on giving, where many times the things we do are forgotten, or buried under the pile of"well its expected". many times i know that i take for granted what others do, or the sacrifices they make;without considering what it cost them to do it.Many times we take for granted the nice things other do because they love us and geniunely care for our happiness,often at the cost of thier own.many times we get wrapped up so much in our own lives,wants andthings we feel are important or urgent that we put blinders on and forget the others around us who make our dreams and happiness possible.our appreciation and love for the things that our friends,family,lovers,or fellow home members do for us is one area i for one know is lacking in my interaction with those who i live and work with.we should try and take the extra time to show that extra love to each person we interact with and go out of our way to do random acts of love. Because you never know how much it means to that person or how much it encourages them, or gets them through that day.

A good dream..
I seem to feel as if I am doing this alot(climbing mountains aka trials and tests ptl)

one happy family

Me on a bad day
Me on a good day.
Me and my bothers ha

A touch of love.

Do you every have those moments when you are surrounded by people in a party or home acivity, and time seems to freeze for a moment when you look at each one around you and realize that if each was taken from you tommarrow that you would have not said everything you wanted to say to them or done any of the things you wanted to do? many times i feel that we(I) spend much of our time concentrated on the faults,cracks,or idioms of those we(if we where honest) really love and cherish.I have started to ask myself when i am tempted to get irritated, angry,or fustrated with someone;"If they left now would my last words be ones of love?how much would I miss them?is this comment,sarcasm,foolish remark or fustration how i would want them to remember me?" I know this is a bit drastic and odd but, would you treat someone different if you knew it would be the last time you saw them?Or would you try new experiences with them if you had nothing to lose?Would it be ludacris to say that your life would be more loving ,exciting and fun if you lived it that way? I think not.what holds me back? pride,fear of the opinions of man,a additude of "i can be loving or fix it later",a lack of the freedom of the spirit. you may laugh, poke fun or find me odd for this ,but ask your self what held you back today? what caused you to hold back from loving someone, giving yourself and sacrificing for another,showing them appreciation,giving love ,sex or whatever it was that you could have done to encourage or make there day(or night)better. I think you will be surprised with your answer. if we all try this think of the metanoia that this would bring about in our homes and lives with our loved ones and those we work with.

Aniversary

Taday was my 7th aniversary , how time did fly. and on this day I want to say to that wonderful person who has put up with me all these years.I truly love you and thank our husband for the day I met you.then and now I love you. you have truly grown into a mother,friend,companion,lover,shephard and fighter that I will always love and be proud of .I love you mike

Art of conversation.

Today for the first time in a long time i come to you from a place green and idylic, frought with new and challenging(sometimes pleasurable)obsticals. How do you change who you are? haw do you adapt to new people who no matter how hard you try to bend and change to them in order to make them happy ,only end up irritating them more each day. we live in a enviroment where confluence, good communication and friendship are paramount. I know many people especially those of the feminine notion express their disire that men try more, so i ask what if you do , what if you ty to the utmost only to be shot down at each turn? I am one of those who although articulate on paper tend to melt in front of other ( especially girls) and be reduced to a blatthering mess.part in parcel of this seems to be compounded by the lession of learning to pray more before I speak,The art of conversation seems to be so much more than the understanding of words, rather the nuonces of facial expressions, tones, or gestrations. Is what you heard what he said? did he mean it in a sarcastic or serious tone? what was he doing while saying it? all in all i have resorted to that (and this to all girls out there)unless we learn to take others as they are, not as we think, when we learn to take others at there word , not at what we conjured or read into or analysed it to be. we will be forever frought with hurt, misunderstanding and a lack of love and faith for those we work ,live and love with.Let us show each person we converse with a mind that is free of prejudiced thought or critical or negative thinking, then we will have many more friendships and love that will not hinge on a whim.

hello

sorry I have been gone, i have returned and from here out will try to be more faithful in my upkeep.

End of the world.

We hello and good day, merry christmas and new years salutations. I wish you all the best for all the year and the happiness that life can bring.

posted for you.

I am sorry for the long abstinance, the reason for this long hiatis has been the tumult as to what to write on. my life it seems takes the course more twisting and surprise filled than the brazillian pantanal.I being a cancer am a creature of sentiment, emotion perhaps even the fragile. and those of you who know me will eather agree heartily or scoff out of jest. Is it a crime to love too fiercely and not to well? should we care for all those who we share our lives with , with intimacy or common friendship? is it wrong to love and hope for that in return?Is it a mistake to crave the touch and caress of affection and love? or is the chastity of prudent separation for fear of hurt or emotional attactment, or dare I say deep friendship that borders love for another more accepted?each day that has passed me this last month makes me more aware of the treasure that each person we live and work with are , Each touches us in a way and make us better, and then vanish to follow thier call wherever it leads.maybe I am the too sentimental type , but I belive love in anyform is a good thing and should be embraced rather than rejected, hidden from , or made into a thing to be afraid of. our lives are lived in the obedience of the love of our husband and savior, and the love he gives is the strongest force in the world , I would rather love feircely and with my whole heart and suffer the hurt than allow myself to become isolated for fear of it.too often we are afraid to love or to let go in body mind or otherwise for fear, for the conciousness of man.I was one of these afraid to let go afraid to be loved or love because I was afraid of the hurt, the humbling and the feelings of pain and joy.over the last year I have had these all , the highs,the extream lows, the hurts, the loneliness, the desire for love and the fear of it. the pain of loving someone who cannot return it and the disapointment of loving someone who does not share those feelings: the hardest part was the honesty;the being open about those feelings ,desires, needs knowing they will be crushed, expecting the worst yet praying for the best of all things.and the best was experiencing the joy and love when someone shares the lords love and thier heart with you.I have seen the miracles of healing. I have felt the pain of battle. I have been overcome with the feeling of being alone. I have climbed the mountain of faith and seemany more. I have felt the love that only god can give through another . I have rejoiced in the triumphs of my loved ones and prayed in the times of distress . I have walked through the shadow of death to lie down in green pastures.I have cried tears of joy and happiness, and I have come the end of my rope and been lifted up.and through it all I three constants, the lord,my wife,my family,and a friend that I love dearly. I thank you all for this year, you have helped me to make it and come through a better man.

tips from the karma sutra.

Auddalika says, `Females do not emit as males do. The males simply remove their desire, while the females, from their consciousness of desire, feel a certain kind of pleasure, which gives them satisfaction, but it is impossible for them to tell you what kind of pleasure they feel. The fact from which this becomes evident is, that males, when engaged in coition, cease of themselves after emission, and are satisfied, but it is not so with females.'
This opinion is however objected to on the grounds that, if a male be a long-timed, the female loves him the more, but if he be short-timed, she is dissatisfied with him. And this circumstance, some say, would prove that the female emits also.
ON KISSING
IT is said by some that there is no fixed time or order between the embrace, the kiss, and the pressing or scratching with the nails or fingers, but that all these things should be done generally before sexual union takes place, while striking and making the various sounds generally takes place at the time of the union. Vatsyayana, however, thinks that anything may take place at any time, for love does not care for time or order.
On the occasion of the first congress, kissing and the other things mentioned above should be done moderately, they should not be continued for a long time, and should be done alternately. On subsequent occasions, however, the reverse of all this may take place, and moderation will not be necessary, they may continue for a long time, and, for the purpose of kindling love, they may be all done at the same time.
The following are the places for kissing: the forehead, the eyes, the cheeks, the throat, the bosom, the breasts, the lips, and the interior of the mouth. Moreover the people of the Lat country kiss also on the following places: the joints of the thighs, the arms and the navel. But Vatsyayana thinks that though kissing is practised by these people in the above places on account of the intensity of their love, and the customs of their country, it is not fit to be practised by all.
Now in a case of a young girl there are three sorts of kisses:
The nominal kiss
The throbbing kiss
The touching kiss
When a girl only touches the mouth of her lover with her own, but does not herself do anything, it is called the `nominal kiss'.
When a girl, setting aside her bashfulness a little, wishes to touch the lip that is pressed into her mouth, and with that object moves her lower lip, but not the upper one, it is called the `throbbing kiss'.
When a girl touches her lover's lip with her tongue, and having shut her eyes, places her hands on those of her lover, it is called the `touching kiss'.
Other authors describe four other kinds of kisses:
The straight kiss
The bent kiss
The turned kiss
The pressed kiss
When the lips of two lovers are brought into direct contact with each other, it is called a `straight kiss'.
When the heads of two lovers are bent towards each other, and when so bent, kissing takes place, it is called a `bent kiss'.
When one of them turns up the face of the other by holding the head and chin, and then kissing, it is called a `turned kiss'.
Lastly when the lower lip is pressed with much force, it is called a `pressed kiss'.
There is also a fifth kind of kiss called the `greatly pressed kiss', which is effected by taking hold of the lower lip between two fingers, and then, after touching it with the tongue, pressing it with great force with the lip.
As regards kissing, a wager may be laid as to which will get hold of the lips of the other first. If the woman loses, she should pretend to cry, should keep her lover off by shaking her hands, and turn away from him and dispute with him saying, `let another wager be laid'. If she loses this a second time, she should appear doubly distressed, and when her lover is off his guard or asleep, she should get hold of his lower lip, and hold it in her teeth, so that it should not slip away, and then she should laugh, make a loud noise,
WHEN love becomes intense, pressing with the nails or scratching the body with them is practised, and it is done on the following occasions: on the first visit; at the time of setting out on a journey; on the return from a journey; at the time when an angry lover is reconciled; and lastly when the woman is intoxicated.
But pressing with the nails is not a usual thing except with those who are intensely passionate, i.e. full of passion. It is employed, together with biting, by those to whom the practice is agreeable.

the trying times, that make us who we are.

I want to tell you the miracle of birth. a man born again , when nicodemus ask our lord "can a man enter his mother womb a second time". it is simbolic of the trial of life. each test trial pain and lonelines is for me the agony and bliss of rebirth. at times when I am my lowest,when the pain inside seems almost to crush me, and squeeze every last drop of hope I have left. I see my lover with arms outsreached beconing me to push through'except a man be born again he shall not see the kindom of god". through the pain I learn the joy of rebirth , a new day, a new beginning. my love has unending love and longsuffering so that though I fall, or die inside once more, in despare or lonely drought of comparing,loneliness,or discouragement; he is there to help me rise again. I am here to say that truly there is no sight more beautiful than a man ready to be born again; having died to himself than our lover my live in him, and I am testament to it. though I fall he lifts me, though I dispare he brings me hope, when I am alone and crave love ;he fills me with extasy beyond wildest imagination.when I cry he wipes away the tears.when I feel I have died he raises me up and reminds me that only in him and him in me may I live. may I be counted priveledged to die for him each day , for this is the greatest triumph.

the power of a vision.

Hey all out there , I come to you live this time from the unknown and highly explosive place called board meetings. I ( and if you are too)are one of those who only saw the banana there I tell you now that boy oh boy much more goes into all of the benefits and pleasures we expect. Its like the comic book where the hero or james bond has the side-kick who designs all his weapons and gadgets while the hero who uses all of them gets the glory.each one of these people I have met here are that guy that makes it all work, they brainstorm, they work, and they breathe thier callings. and bingo out comes all the great things we enjoy, hero gets the girl etc.. anyhoo I drift here. but to see all the work and prayer that goes into the many aspects of this makes me so sad that I did not take the time to pray for them more and the big job they have. and now (lord help us all) I may be one ha. anyways all that to say, each of you out there I have a new respect and admiration for the job you do. and for all the rest of you earthlings I say uplift them in your prayers , you may never know when you need them yourself.